It's hard to say when you stop blindly loving someone and questioning them, their ideals and their choices. It's harder still, when all this questioning leads you to respect them not necessarily for their choices, but because they are cognizant of their shortcomings, and those of their ideaologies; and work despite them.
I don't know when exactly I made these transitions, but make them I did - at some point in my adoloscent life. I was always somewhat close to my dad. In my house, relationships with parents were decidedly old-school. We were always at home, and a very tightknit family. Yet, my dad couldn't have told you a single thing about me that was particularly accurate in detail. He'd forget what class I was in, he never did know who my friends were, and by no means would he even dream of escorting me or watching over me when I hung out with friends. Hands-off was more like it. A good provider, quite interested in my education and as for the rest - as long as I wasn't getting into trouble, I was on my own.
I quite liked that, to be honest. My vacations and weekends weren't spent in organized "play dates". They usually culminated in threats of "If you don't come home this very instant..." at the end of a complete day when my parents had no clue where I was.
In choices of religion, philosophy and (as I dicovered later) even politics, we thought differently. Most of it was his own doing... all my days as a kid - I was encouraged to question *everything* (something I still do). And this led me to my rather strong convictions in these areas. Not always right, but always open to debate.
It's a grat pity he didn't live to see most of my (rather minor) successes and accomplishments. In all the days that he walked this earth, I was a run-of-the-mill runt who didn't do much of note. I like to believe that this was the preparation for the rest of my life... sports, academics, career, personal choices... all alike.
Since he passed on, I went on to college, graduate school, played for numerous teams with varying levels of distinction, recently began work at a new job, and most recently got married. It's a pity he sowed the seeds and didn't get the satisfaction of watching the tree grow.
